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“There is a picture of my mother in her underwear with Magic Marker all over her from when she was in college,” Phil related. “Once you get to know her better, ask her about the tattoo she had lasered off her butt a few years ago. I know you think she’s this wonderful person who’s never made a mistake in her life but that’s not the case. She’s made plenty of them – for instance she and my father married only six months before I came along (and I was a full-term baby).”“Really?” Hailey asked.“Oh, yeah,” Phil said. “A couple of years ago, I had to carry her and Dad to bed on New Year’s morning. They invited some friends over and got totally blitzed. It was all I could do to keep them from running down to the river at midnight and getting a head start on the Polar Bear club.”“What’s that?” Hailey asked.“It’s a bunch of dumbasses who skinny dip in the freezing water at daybreak on New Year’s Day!” Phil said. “Can you imagine that? My Mom and Dad’s naked asses turning up on a web site.. If she doesn’t, I’m dead.’ She typed rapidly for a few seconds and said, ‘Ok, here it goes.’ Click. ‘By the way, what is your name?’ He told her and she led the way out the back door. There were a number of outbuildings, several still in need of repair. ‘I don’t think we will get a visit here from the police, but you never know. I’m putting you in a rotten place. So rotten they won’t think to look there.’ A loud siren went off back at the house. She turned and smiled at him. ‘My sat phone, who do you suppose could be calling?’ He followed her to the house, a few steps behind. She was talking animatedly into the phone. ‘It’s good to hear from my little sister. I’m sorry I missed your birthday party. You’re all grownup at eighteen! What did you say? You are breaking up. My email? So what’s the answer?’ ‘Hector?’ Diane motioned him over and put the phone on speaker. ‘OMG, you’ve got Hector? He’s right there? OMG, don’t let go of him. Let me talk to him!’ ‘You’re on speaker, sis, and.
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